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Question Daily Life

Is Dating Really The Best Way To Find The Love Of Your Life And Marry?

Since the beginning of humankind, having a person to spend time with, care for, and to love has been a part of fulfillment in life.  Being single is easy because you don’t have to think about anything else.  Finding that husband or wife for life is exciting.  Keeping that relationship takes work.  It’s the same as our relationship with God, it takes a bit of work to know each other.

In our generation, getting married is a big deal.  However, many countries in the world suffer with high levels of divorce because people don’t learn to value their spouse.  Finding a life partner usually starts by a person finding a boyfriend or girlfriend.  When someone likes someone else, they ask the person to go out on a ‘date’.  A date is going out as a guy and gal and having a meal, going to an event, or just doing something as a couple. The idea of dating is old, but yet dating someone to decide if they make a good mate or note is relatively new.  Why?  When Joseph discovered that Mary was pregnant with Jesus, we see that Joseph was going to quietly put her away, in Matthew 1:19.  The lady that he was arranged to marry was pregnant, and it wasn’t by him.  Historically, someone was committed to marry someone else by their parents.  Man or woman was betrothed to their spouse which meant they were committed.  It was a big deal for Joseph as he thought he had been cheated on by his wife to be.  God spoke to Joseph through a dream and only then did Joseph keep his fiancé as God was moving in their lives.

Over the ages, most marriages have been arranged by the parents of the prospective bride and groom.  In essence it’s a great idea as older adults should have a better idea of what type of person their son or daughter should be marrying.  These days, arranged marriages are not all that common.  The media pushes us to dating.

Is Anything Wrong With Dating?

Is there anything wrong with dating your prospective spouse?  Here are a few things we need to be aware of.

  • Dating gives a false sense of who people are
  • Dating puts people under unnecessary pressure
  • Dating is dangerous if the two people get physical there is a chance that they will lose their virginity or have soul ties with someone they may not necessarily want to be with (what the Bible says about premarital sex here).

With dating, you don’t get a real idea of who you’re spending time with.  People dress up and try to look their best and many times you don’t get a feel for who they really are.  Being alone with someone can also put you in compromising situations where you might do something you regret later.  There is a better way than dating.

What’s The Better Way Of Finding That Spouse?

The best place to find your future spouse is not at a pub, rock concert, or party.  The absolute best place to find your spouse is at church.  Why?  When people are committed to Jesus it is much easier to be committed to each other.  Christians should NEVER marry unbelievers.  The unsaved spouse might get saved after marriage, but they could also persecute their believing husband or wife right there in the home, every day.

The better way to find a that husband or wife of your dreams is what we call courtship.  Courtship is identifying that potential spouse and moving towards marriage.  Courtship is initiated by the man.  Courtship is a serious commitment a guy is making to get to know a woman with the intention of the relationship leading into marriage.

How Can We Get To The Point Of Courtship?

Dating can take a lot of time and effort.  Getting together as a boyfriend and girlfriend and breaking up is painful.  Some psychologists say it is the reason why we have such divorce in society.  People as used to the cycle of dating and breaking up.  It just goes for marriage to divorce some say.  Rather than spending time getting pulled into the dating cycle, there is a better way to find that life part.

How To Passively Date- Questions To Ask Yourself

  1. Get to know people in a group environment (church is the absolute best place to meet, you can learn how to find a great church here).
  2. Look at their parents. That person is going to be a lot like them if that’s who they were raised by
  3. How do they manage money? Are they in debt with a bunch of loans or are they sitting on a nice savings account and thinking ahead.
  4. What have they done with their life so far?
  5. Have they got any friends? What are they like?
  6. Can they cook? If one of you can’t cook, you could both get fat from eating out.
  7. How do they act when things don’t go their way?
  8. What’s the place they live look like?
  9. Is there divorce in their family?
  10. How do they treat those they work with?
  11. Did they complete their education or quit part way?
  12. Are they skilled and working hard or hardily working?

Observe a person and how they act and interact with others before you get into some type of committed relationship with them.  Get to know they through a group type of environment where there is no pressure for them to impress you or act how they would not normally act.

Marriage is a fantastic thing.  It is fulfilling for the husband and wife both spiritually and physically.  A man needs to protect his wife and raise up his kids in God’s ways.  In fact, Proverbs 22:6 tells us that if raise our children in God’s ways, they will always come back.


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