Is It Alright For A Christian To Date An Unbeliever or Non-Christian?
It’s a common question, should a follower of Jesus, a Christian, date an unbeliever? The world is full of wonderful people. Christians should be the most reliable, hardest working, responsive, strong, and kind people to work with. Knowing committed Christians, you will surely find these types of people. Why? Jesus exhorts us to be perfect as our Heavenly Father is perfect in Matthew 5:48. This is how our Father is. He is amazing. We are to copy His example and have his characteristics.
Christian? Not exactly
There are also many people that call themselves Christian, but they would steal from you in a heartbeat. If you do something they don’t like, they would back-bite you without a second thought. These are the people that turn other people off towards God. We all need to be wise about who they are dealing with. If someone says they are a Christian, make sure they are. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 7:17 that a good tree bears good fruit, and a bad tree bad fruit. We need to evaluate our situation and entrust those who are trust-worthy and distance ourselves from those who are not.
In dating, a man and woman go out and spend time together. They are trying to evaluate if the other is someone they want to be with in the long term or not. Of course, there are a lot of other motivations for dating. The problem is dating becomes a getting together and breaking up cycle for many. Rather than dating, the best way to find your spouse is courtship (more on dating and courtship here). However, in our day to day relationships we can sometimes be attracted to someone who is not a committed Christian. Is it okay to date someone who does not have a personal relationship with Jesus as their Savior?
The Most Important Relationship
Relationships are a wonderful part about being human. We can love and care for others and make a difference in our world by being passionate and positive contributors to our sphere of influence in the world. Relationships are important. However, as a human, the absolute most important relationship is the one between ourselves and God. If we know God, we can do amazing things. Without God, we are all lost and hopeless.
Dating, or better yet, courting another person as a potential friend for life is fun. If the relationship is to work, the two have to understand each other and see each other as equals. Men have different giftings and skills than women, and vice versa. For a Christian to have a truly loving and lasting relationship, both than man and the woman need to know Jesus. If you don’t Jesus, there is no way you can relate to someone who does. You can describe someone you’ve met to your friend, however there is nothing like meeting and knowing that person.
You Must Be Equal
A relationship must be equal. Dating an unbeliever is a recipe for failure. Saved people should know God’s ways and are a part of His Kingdom. Unsaved people cannot relate because they don’t personally know the Creator and God of all relationships.
In 2 Corinthians 6:14, believers are clearly told that we are not to be unequally united with unbelievers. Christians should never date unbelievers. But that doesn’t mean you can’t keep bringing someone you have affection for to Bible Studies, Church, Life Groups and so forth. The best way to get to know someone is to see how they act in groups.
Christians should never date non-Christians. You must trust God to bring along that wonderful man or woman and not just grab someone. Many get worried as they get older and are still single. Don’t have weak faith!
Where To Meet People
Get out and meet people. Be friendly, be happy, and be healthy. Find and commit yourself to a strong church (more about finding a good church here) and focus on building your relationship with God first. In Matthew 6:33, Jesus tell us to seek God’s kingdom and His purity (righteous ways) in your life first and foremost, and He promises that all the other things will come. That includes a wonderful spouse! Trust God for everything, including spouse. After all, as a Christian we walk by faith and not by sight.
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